No matter how you look at it the people you work with are human. And as humans, sometimes you or your co-workers do quirky things at work that may be considered out-of-place or even inappropriate. No, I’m not talking about the occasional gossip at the water cooler about some guy who got a chin implant and now looks like a pouty Captain America. But rather situations that are so awkward they impede productivity.
So to help you deal with awkward office situations, we give you five of the most common human errors in (workplace) judgment and how to handle them.
1. Mr. (or Ms.) Too Much Information
This is the guy (or gal) who gives you their entire life story in the time it takes to make 30 copies. There you are, captive at the Xerox machine while Mr. TMI goes on about his divorce or latest sexual conquest (which is even ickier if the person he’s talking about also works in your office). Eventually he’ll feel comfortable enough to share pictures of his colonoscopy with you, so unless you’re looking forward to seeing snapshots of the lower digestive track of an avid meat-eater, you’re going to have to grow a spine quickly.
At his first utterance of something too personal, stop him mid-sentence and tell him that you’re neither a priest nor a therapist, so you’re really not interested in his true confessions. If he gets defensive, start babbling on about your kid’s performance in the school play or the last time you had the tires rotated on your car. Trust me, he’ll go away.
2. The Break-up
We’ve all been there. Two employees start dating and then they have a massive fight, which leads to an ugly break-up. Battles lines are drawn and you’re expected to take sides. If you don’t, you’re labeled unsupportive. And if you do, then you’re a backstabber. This is a no-win situation. So it’s best to just avoid both parties until A) one quits, B) one kills the other, or C) they both come to their senses and learn to get along (at least at the office).
If you’re the boss (or just a really concerned friend), meet with both ex-lovebirds privately to come up with a plan that will help them get over this hump. However, make sure they admit that they’re cooperating of their own free will otherwise, you could be hit with a harassment suit. (Yes, that’s the kind of world we live in now.)
3. Office Politics
No, we don’t mean the kind where two people jockey for the same promotion (although, that can be awkward, too). We’re talking about when an employee uses the workplace as a pulpit to stump for his favorite political party, cause, or candidate, to the point everyone at the office wants to staple his mouth shut. Hey buddy, just because you’d spend your last dime saving the endangered spotted, wide-mouthed, seersucker, horned buck beetle, doesn’t mean everyone else shares your commitment. Similarly, if you’ve just found God, quit drinking, or joined a cult, we don’t necessarily want to ride along with you.
When faced with someone who oppressively tries to convert you, simply be honest and tell him, thanks for sharing, but I got my own thing going. If he continues, give him one more warning, but then after that ask Human Resources (or your boss) to make him stop. On the other hand, if you really do enjoy the debate, then suggest you save it for break times or a happy hour after work.
4. Wedding Bell Blues
A co-worker is planning her wedding and the next thing you know you’re enlisted to give an opinion on fabric swatches for the bridesmaid gowns; sushi versus prime rib for the reception; and if you think it’s appropriate to have a dog be the ring bearer. The problem is you really don’t give a rat’s tail if her bridesmaids dance down the aisle naked slinging raw fish to a pack of wolves. Heck, you’re not even going to the wedding, so how annoying is it that she wastes your work time soliciting your opinion?
Politely tell the bride-to-be you’re extremely happy about her impending nuptials, but unfortunately you’re behind so you really need to hunker down and work uninterrupted. If you just can’t bear to metaphorically slam the door in her face, suggest that she save all her questions up to discuss ONE TIME during the day (possibly at lunch or after work).
Either that or just offer such outlandish, garish opinions that she quits coming to you because she finally realizes you’re nothing but a tasteless goober.
5. Sour Grapes
So someone at the office is fired or laid off and suddenly his remaining posse grouses about what a crappy place this is to work. Common sense tells you that if one guy was laid off, then they might be looking for others to let go. Don’t give them a reason to can you by getting caught badmouthing the company. Whether you agree with the lay-off or not, keep your opinions to yourself. That said you don’t want to be unsupportive of your co-workers, so if you agree that the guy they let go got a bum deal, discuss the matter outside of work. Otherwise, tell the clucking hens that you really don’t think it’s appropriate to be dissing the company on company time. (Save it for happy hour.)
Regardless of the awkward circumstance (and believe me, there are many more besides these), it usually gets worse if you ignore it. The best thing to do when an awkward office situation rears its ugly head is to proactively stand up to it. The longer you pretend everything is okay, the more things are likely to come to a point where the damage is irreparable.
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With Halloween coming up in just a few days, chances are you’re going to dress up in something crazy, scary, or ridiculous and then go to work. It’s the one day of the year you can go a little wild around your colleagues (okay, the second day of the year if you count your office holiday party) without anyone taking you too seriously. Hopefully, others at your place of work will dress up, as well, so you don’t look like the lone candy corn in a pile of wet autumn leaves.
If you’re dressing up for Halloween at work, or even if you’re just going to an after hours party that a lot of your co-workers (and maybe even your boss) will be attending, then you might want to reel in your inner teenager just a bit. We’re not saying you can’t have fun just don’t do anything that makes you look like an irresponsible goon. So if you like where you work, and would like to stay employed there for years to come without everyone whispering “He’s the one who came to work dressed as a vasectomy last Halloween” (just use your imagination), then you might want to consider these helpful workplace costume tips.
On the Don’t Side…
- Don’t dress up as your boss
- Don’t wear something overly sexy or hard to walk in
- Don’t wear a costume that resembles your personality
- Avoid political statements
Trust me, no matter how much of a character you and everyone else in the office thinks your boss is, he or she sees themselves differently (almost always less colorful). Oh sure, you may think your boss is a good sport, but don’t put that to the test when you come in dressed as your boss as a character from La Cage Aux Folles because “everybody knows he’s gay, right?”
Unless you want to be labeled the office slut (male or female) don’t dress in an overly provocative costume. Even if you’re comfortable showing some skin, it makes everyone else in the office extremely uncomfortable (even on Halloween). Similarly, don’t don footwear that’s so hard to walk in you couldn’t get out of the building quickly even if it was on fire. This means no mile-high spiky heels or Frankenstein boots that make you 10 feet tall. If you can’t do the Michael Jackson Thriller dance in your shoes then wear some different ones.
Why? Because then it’s just too easy for the office smart-mouth to make you the butt of his jokes. If you’re known for being the office taskmaster and you come as a witch, the gags just write themselves. Show everyone up instead by coming as Glinda the Good Witch of the North (from the Wizard of Oz). Always go against type (it’s funnier, and makes for a better ice breaker at parties).
You may be a diehard liberal who hasn’t missed an episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in years, but your boss may be a Fox News conservative. So don’t put your foot in your mouth by showing up as a Christine O’Donnell Witch or a Glenn Beck troll. Similarly, avoid the Obama masks with the big ears or the Nancy Pelosi-plastic-surgery-gone-bad-masks. Halloween is a bipartisan holiday and you want to keep it that way.
On the Do Side…
- Do pick a costume that’s clever and not complicated
- Do wear loose-fitting clothing without a lot of extra props
- Do use clothing you already own to create a costume
For example, clever: sunglasses and a hardhat make you a Chilean miner. Complicated: A zombie with make-up so messy you leave a trail of fake blood and body parts everywhere makes you annoying (and not all that scary, really).
This pretty much eliminates the Lady Gaga meat suit or anything like it. Remember, you’re at work so you want to be comfortable and maintain at least a minimum amount of professionalism. (I mean, gosh, what if clients drop by?) Plus, you don’t want to have to keep track of a bunch of junk like swords, pirate hooks, broomsticks, cooking utensils, or magic wands that you’ll just end up losing anyway.
Go ahead and enhance that old bridesmaid dress (to be a fairy princess) or your tux (to be an undertaker or a scary waiter). If you use your own clothing you’re ensured of a proper fit, which means you’ll be much more comfortable. Plus, you’ll save money by not having to buy some cheap costume that you’ll probably only wear once.
And finally, if you don’t want to dress up that’s fine, too. But just so no one accuses you of being the Halloween equivalent of Scrooge, bring a bowl of candy to work and set it up outside your office. This shows you’re still in the spirit, but that you draw the line at turning yourself into the undead. Everyone will forgive you if you come loaded with a bunch of fun size Snickers as a peace offering.
As far as terrible bosses go, the 5 most hated kinds of bosses include those that call you the wrong name, want a personal slave, want a best friend not an employee, treat you like crap, or are the spastic/drunk boss.
Unfortunately, if you fall into one of these categories, you are not alone. There are thousands of bosses that fit within this category just within the United States. I cannot say whether these bosses are also the most hated on an international level, but I can't imagine them being much worse than this.
Whether you have one of these bosses inside the U.S. or somewhere else in the world, here are 4 tips that can help you survive on a daily basis until you can find another job. Most of us aren't financially set for life and can't quit on a whim. So remember these tips on how to survive your boss:
1. Remember It's Only Temporary.
Although you may think you will always be doing the same thing and working for the same terrible boss, the truth is it's only short-term. In the near future, your life will get better and you can work for someone else.
2. Exercise
Exercise is a great way to get in shape and release that stress, particularly if you do intense sports like kickboxing or running. These will allow you to get out your negative energy and help you stay in shape. This is a great feeling especially when you are in better shape than the boss.
3. Vent About Your Boss
Even though it may seem a little childish, it can make you feel better. But only backtalk your boss in your head or when you're absolutely 100-percent positive they're not around. Generally, it works better when you complain about them to friends outside of the office. Sometimes you just need to vent and then you can be constructive and go on.
4. Active Social Life
A lot of my friends try having such an active social life that work is only the thing they do between playing. That way, their day feels shorter, and they enjoy their life more. You might hate work less if you're thoroughly exhausted from having so much outside of work.
Try these tactics. I used to have a job that I absolutely hated and a couple of these did help me on a daily basis. Even though you hate your job and you don't think you could find another one because of the economy, hold on. Eventually, the economy will get better; in the meantime, keep your eyes open for a new job.
It may be worth it to even take a lower-paying job and then pick up an extra job on the side. Depending on how severely you hate your current boss, this might work for you. Also remember, no matter what your insecurities tell you, what they are paying you isn't worth it your dignity. So start looking for another job and stay alive.
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