Beyond the world of accounting, health care, or computer programming, lies a shadowy realm of flying saucers, undiscovered creatures, and restless spirits. Some people reject the typical 9-to-5 to venture into this realm and uncover the secrets therein. Instead of making sandwiches at Subway, they charge into haunted houses. Rather than making plans to strengthen The Man’s bottom line, they attempt to piece together alleged Bigfoot sightings or alien abductions.

These career paths are not for the faint-hearted. Any of these will almost certainly mean danger, spooky experiences, scanty paychecks, and/or ridicule from the mainstream public. If you think you have what it takes to be the next Fox Mulder, check out the following careers. The truth is out there, and you may be the one to find it:

1. Cryptozoologist – You’ve heard of Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Chupacabra? Cryptozoologists hang out with these guys. Or at least they’d like to. ‘Crypto’ means ‘hidden. ‘Zoo’ means ‘animals.’ Put them together and you have the study of "hidden animals," or animals that are not currently empirically proven to exist.

Cryptozoologists travel the globe investigating mystery animal sightings, collecting evidence (alleged Bigfoot droppings, Champ scales, etc.), and making the case to the skeptical science community that these animals may in fact exist. If this sounds like the career for you, you’d better hit those biology and zoology classes hard. Cryptozoologists, like plain old zoologists, have to know their animal biology front and back.

2. Ufologist – The last century has been fraught with sightings, conspiracies, videos, and hoaxes surrounding the alleged existence of Unidentified Flying Objects. From out-of-this world flying vehicles to abductions and experimentation on humans, authorities come up with absurd explanations while the public scratches their heads in confusion and fear.

That is where ufologists come in. Their mission is to uncover the truth about the existence of UFOs, to determine their origin, their intentions, and their relationship to the government. Occasionally, they get on a History Channel UFO documentary as an expert. If this sounds like your dream career, you’ll need to get versed in the ocean of reports, de-classified government documents, and investigations that are available.

3. Parapsychologist – For ages, people have exhibited some unexplainable talents (no, I don’t mean Paris’s appetite for idiocy and self-mockery). I’m talking about reading minds, moving things with pure mental willpower, and seeing things with your mind’s eye from hundreds of miles away. Parapsychology includes all of these phenomena and the possibility of the survival of consciousness beyond death.

Parapsychologists mostly try to prove the existence of these extraordinary abilities. They test people using random number generators. They put them in rooms and ask them to picture something very far away. Personally, I saw this kid in my high school throw a freshman without touching him. Much research has been done by both the government and private organizations, supposedly without any conclusive evidence that this phenomena actually exists. If you would like to be the first to finally prove that humans can bend spoons with their minds or cause things to spontaneously burst into flames, you will need to get updated on the history and theories of parapsychology and maybe take a few classes in Psychology.

4. Paranormal Investigator – With the success of the Sci Fi TV series Ghosthunters, this field has gained an enormous amount of popularity in the last few years. Death and what happens afterward will always excite a great deal of curiosity. Many people believe they have seen or communicated with spirits from beyond the grave.

As seen on Ghosthunters, paranormal investigators typically visit alleged haunted places (houses, hotels, graveyards, etc.). They take temperature and electromagnetic field readings. They record the entire process on video. Sometimes they find nothing. Other times they experience something frightening. If you are a night person and don’t mind those shivers running up your spine, you might consider this career. There’s no degree or research necessary, just a willingness to go into really scary places.

5. Conlinguist – If you’ve watched Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, or Star Trek, you’ve heard a variety of exotic languages spoken by Klingons, elves, and Hutts. As convincing as they sound, these are not languages that developed and grew naturally over centuries like Spanish or Hindi. They are constructed, or intentionally created, languages (I hate to break it to you). Conlinguists are the people who create these languages, usually for movies, books, or video games.

Conlinguists have to hold some primary knowledge of languages and how they work. They may borrow from real, existing languages, but the more convincing ones are constructed from the ground up. As one may imagine, there isn’t a lot of demand for conlinguists. Unless they create a wildly popular language like Klingon, which sports its own dictionary and set of language tapes, conlinguists must work other jobs to pay the bills. If you’re interested in this career path, learn a language and study linguistics.

About the author Marcus Varner earned his BA in English from Brigham Young University with a Creative Writing emphasis. He is currently in his second year at BYU’s lauded MBA program studying Marketing. He blogs, writes fiction and screenplays, loves movies, and can’t resist playing superheroes with his kids.

You know how at the end of most scary movies the good guys are walking away, seemingly safe from the psychopath or zombie or ghost that has been stalking them, and then, BOOM! a bloody hand comes out of nowhere, grabs the good guy, and BAM! they cut to the credits? Well, I’m like that, too. Just when you thought I was going to relax and leave you alone through Halloween, I return with one more final trio of spine-tingling tales- just like that bloody hand reaching into the frame and making you scream like a kindergartener and grab your roommate…

But first, some thoughts. In researching various college ghost stories, I have noticed that the entities in these stories tend to be grouped into three categories: 1) malevolent shadows, 2) oblivious replays of the past, and 3) interactive spirits of the deceased.

The malevolent shadows are by far the most frightening, aggressive, and violent. They are featureless and very angry about something. Other ghost stories tell of them taking on imp-like forms. My theory: these guys never were alive. That’s why they have no facial features, clothing, etc. That’s also why they’re so irate.

Other ghosts seem to be stuck in a kind of space-time loop where they replay events, some mundane and some intense, from the past. They seem to be unaware of the living around them. Two theories: either these apparitions are spirits of the deceased with an insatiable drive to repeat the past (like they could never kick their life habits) or they are just lifeless imprints on the fabric of space-time that play back occasionally at random.

And then some ghosts tend to interact with their living neighbors. They touch, push, talk to, and otherwise scare the jammies off their hauntees. They may have "unfinished business" to tend to; they may not realize they are dead. Regardless, they will continue to walk around, knock on doors, flush toilets, and move furniture. Often, they will implore the living to avenge their murders, bring their killers to justice, etc. Sometimes they just want to hang out. Anyway, just some food for thought as we near that witching hour of witching hours.

Enough babbling from me. You came to get scared, and I’ve got the goods. Rest assured, I’m going out with a bang:

1) Ohio University: Playful Poltergeists, Pentagram Cemeteries, and a Headless Buffalo

For some reason, Ohio just seems to have more than its fair share of haunted colleges. Dubbed "the most haunted college in the country" by some, this Athens university certainly follows suit. It’s old, which means it has a lot of history, which means you can expect a lot of ghostly traffic.

In several different buildings, poltergeists throw objects, lock doors, flush toilets, and- gasp!- unroll rolls of toilet paper. Phantom marbles sounds will be heard from ceilings and the sound of dripping water. Disembodied laughter will sound from the center of an empty room. Some students have reported feeling threatening presences hovering in front of their faces. Others tell of ghosts spooning with them in the middle of the night (oohh-kay… time to find a date, preferably a living one).

Perhaps the most notable haunted site on campus is Wilson Hall, which as amassed a disproportionately large number of hauntings in its short 42-year history. There have been, of course, a number of suicides there. Dark, shadowy figures roam the halls, leaving unfortunate students feeling chilled and frightened. Athens ghost folklorists believe that Wilson Hall’s high frequency of hauntings is due to its location. Apparently, Wilson sits smack dab in the middle of… Athens’ five pentagram cemeteries!!! That’s good enough for me.

Lastly, the university’s West Green sits on, you guessed it, an Indian burial ground. Besides hearing Indian chants at the site, students tell of Stroud, a headless buffalo that still roams the area. It turns out Stroud was killed by some Confederate soldiers near the end of the Civil War. To hide their plunder, the soldiers cut off the buffalo’s head and stuff it full of loot. This has left the buffalo’s restless spirit to wander West Green for eternity. Someone should tell him his head is hanging on the wall of Buffalo Wings and Rings in town.

2) Illinois University: The Gray Ghost, a White Lady, and Creepy Closets

This school has its share of ghostly footsteps, spectral suicide victims, flickering lights, and windows that open and close on their own. But IU also has a few unique stories of its own.

In one such story, a female student was returning to her room in Alpha Phi Omega Hall to get something while everyone else was at a party. She had been drinking but still insists that the following was not imagined as a result of intoxication. As she ascended the staircase, she saw a man standing at the top of the stairs, dressed in gray. Cautiously, the girl squinted to get a better look at the man, realizing suddenly that the man had no face. The student ran out of the house screaming bloody murder, but no one heard her… You’re probably thinking that they found her dead, but you’re wrong. She lived to tell the tale to her sorority sisters, who subsequently thought she had had one too many swigs of Halloween punch. Since then, the Gray Ghost has been sighted widely around campus.

In Crampton Hall, the same building where a student was found hung by an unknown hand in his closet, a male student went to his room to get ready for a night on the town. When he didn’t come back for a long time, his companions went to look for him. They found him naked, hanging upside down in his closet, and too frightened to tell them what had happened. Later, the same student was awakened in the middle of the night by a loud noise and found a man standing over him. The mysterious stranger turned and disappeared into the closet. Perhaps, this was an elaborate hazing performed by frat boys from Narnia.

Or perhaps something more sinister. In the basement classrooms of Rammelkamp Chapel, students have reported seeing an old woman in white. When she sees them looking at her, she quickly vanishes into thin air.

And, now, our final and most terrifying tale of all. Get ready to wet your costume…

3) Cal State University Channel Islands: Home of the Undead Insane

Don’t be fooled by this school’s young age (it opened its doors to students in 2002). This school used to be one of the most crowded, infamous insane asylums in the United States. [Note: many schools are built on the former grounds of asylums, and these schools usually experience hauntings. In fact, Congress should pass a bill forbidding anyone to build on the site of a former asylum- just like with Indian burial grounds.]

Going against all horror movie caveats, the Cal State organization thought it would be a bright idea to use an already haunted sanatorium for their university. Former cells have been converted into classrooms and study halls. Does anyone else here see red flags flying up? Unfortunately, they won’t learn their lesson until it’s too late and the student body has sprouted horns, and the entire campus is swallowed into the tenth level of hell.

Thousands of men, women, and children passed through the halls of this place, ranging from autistics to schizophrenics to violent psychopaths. Brutal, old-school methods were used on inmates, including electroshock therapy and lobotomies. While it was still in operation, Camarillo State Hospital employees reported numerous terrifying supernatural encounters. The place was shut down in the early ’90s. New students are already reporting ghostly occurrences.

One former employee tells of a janitor who, while cleaning a ladies restroom, spotted what was obviously a pair of male legs in one of the stalls. She knocked on the door and told the occupant that he was in the wrong restroom. When she didn’t get a response, the janitor opened the stall door, only to find the stall empty. One of the supervisors saw a man enter the women’s restroom dressed in one of the old patients’ jumpsuits. She followed him to chase him out- he was obviously a confused inmate. When she entered the room, however, no one was there. She called in another female supervisor who had seen the man. They talked for a moment, and then the other woman screamed, her face as white as, well, a ghost. The supervisor spun around to see the man standing right behind her. Then, he vanished before their eyes.

Other creepy stuff: one nurse was sneaking a smoke outside the empty cafeteria when someone grabbed her hard by the shoulders and jerked her back. When the nurse gained her footing, she glanced around the room only to find that the room was empty, the doors locked. Another nurse was grabbed by her hair and yanked back so hard her chair almost fell over. Also, one of the units featured a mural of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves where Grumpy’s face would transform occasionally into a sinister image. Also, a dirt road that runs behind the buildings is said to be very haunted, with bizarre accidents occurring regularly there.

Nowadays, the spirits are as busy as ever. Children’s voices can still be heard from what used to be the children’s center. Old swing sets swing without any wind or hand to push them. Other students have heard shouts and banging there. Some claim to have seen a black, shadowy figure. An old woman in white has been seen wandering the halls. Another old woman has been spotted outside the bell tower, asking for directions to the chapel.

Shushing voices have been heard in the bathrooms. A man has been seen spinning around in the parking lot until he disappears under one of the streetlights. Students have reported seeing people out of the corner of their eye who vanish when they look directly at them. One female student told of how her boyfriend stole a painting from one of the wards, began acting bizarre, and became possessed by the ghost of a former inmate. When he went nuts and threatened to kill her, she called the cops, and he was eventually admitted to a mental institution.

Many have reported inexplicable nausea and headaches upon setting foot on campus. First-day-of-school jitters or something more sinister at work?

Well, Happy Halloween, everybody! Hope this gave you that cathartic scare, that dose of adrenaline, you’ve been needing. Now go change your underpants, fill yourselves with ridiculous amounts of sugar and transfatty acids, and be merry…

They’re heeeere… again. As with inhumanly high levels of sugar intake on Halloween, so with ghost stories. This time of year, people just can’t get enough of scaring themselves. Why do we do it? Maybe to remind ourselves what it feels like. Maybe to tap into that primal terror the ancients felt in the presence of unexplainable forces. Maybe just for the adrenaline rush.

At any rate, I’m happy to oblige with three more tales of the restless dead, demonic forces, and shadowy apparitions that roam our nation’s colleges. Without further ado…

1. St. John’s University: Haunting Bells and Another Gateway to Hell Just across the lake from this Collegeville, Minnesota campus, an abandoned chapel sits in the woods. As this chapel was being built in the early 1900s, the abbot of the monastery received repeated premonitions to cease work on the chapel. As people often do in spooky stories, the abbot disregarded these premonitions and finished the chapel, thus incurring, it seems, the wrath of universal ghost story justice.

Building materials for the chapel had to be transported across the lake. When the day came for placing the bell in the tower, two monks embarked across the lake in a canoe with the bell. Without warning, the canoe capsized in the center of the lake, one of the monks drowned, and the bell was lost to the murky depths.

Undeterred, the surviving monk with another brave soul attempted to take a replacement bell across the lake. Sure enough, the boat capsized, they say, in the same spot as its predecessor. The monks both survived and made it to shore. The monk who had survived the first capsizing was as pale as a sheet. While submerged, he said, the drowned monk had appeared in the gloom, grabbed his robes, and attempted to pull him to the lake bottom. Both monks looked at his robes to see GASP! A white, soaked, rotting, dismembered hand still clinging on.

To this day, on the quarter moon, the hollow ringing of two bells sounds ominously from the watery depths of the lake. But an undead monk and two missing bells are just the beginning…

You see, despite all the red flags, the chapel was finished and used by the monks for years as a place of worship until a new chapel was built. On the last day of services, a de-dedication ceremony was held. The sky outside was cloudless and sunny until, halfway through the ceremony, a tremendous storm arose. As the ceremony finished, a massive earthquake shook the chapel, and dark figure appeared in the chapel doorway. No sooner had they seen it then the floor from the doorway to the altar split like an overripe zombie head. Even the altar, formed of solid stone, cracked in two.

Today, the chapel is said to glow from within on Halloween and Christmas and ghoulish services can be heard carrying on inside its cursed walls. Strange burn marks appear from time to time on the chapel’s exterior. Most terrifying of all, the footprints of the dark demon can still be seen, seared into the chapel floor.

2. Albertus Magnus College: A Sinister Shadow It’s not uncommon to find unwelcome boys in a girls’ dormitory on any given campus. But what do you do when a visitor doesn’t have a body and is very hostile? At Sansbury Hall on this idyllic campus in New Haven, Connecticut, the girls had trouble sleeping at night, so much so that they would all huddle together in sleeping bags in one room. They reported things flying off their shelves and some unseen being poking and scratching them. Especially, the Sansbury girls told of a black shadow that would pace the halls outside the laundry room and sounds of water dripping in places where there were no pipes.

Two students, one of them a dabbler in the occult, decided to check it out. The duo soon found themselves in over their heads when the malevolent shadow appeared. The occultist was lifted off his feet and thrown up a set of stairs. A couple of co-eds saw this and began screaming and spreading general panic. Mass hysteria ensued with the dorm’s occupants emptying the building, cowering in the yard outside. The lights had all turned on inside, and, when they knocked jokingly on the door, it shook violently twice from the inside (and everyone was accounted for outside).

To the best of my knowledge, this phenomenon continues to manifest. Several other buildings on campus are allegedly haunted as well.

3. Savannah College of Art and Design: Home of a Hundred Ghosts You know, every campus has its odd story here and there about weird sounds, cold spots, or shadows. Maybe it’s a part of accreditation or something. But this school blows away any other school I’ve researched in terms of number of hauntings. Word has it that there is a ghost for every block in Savannah, Georgia, and this college certainly fits its locale.

In various houses on campus, dozens (maybe hundreds) of students have reported hearing the sound of marbles dropping on the floors above them at all hours of the day. One student tells of getting chills, then hearing the distinct sound of someone smacking their lips, and finally hearing a voice calling to him. Another student told of waking in the middle of the night having trouble breathing, feeling like something was pressing down on his chest. They’ve heard hammering, furniture being moved, and the sound of high heels clicking on tile; and that’s just a sample.

None of this is surprising, considering the campus’ background. Habersham Hall, for instance, to be a prison and still sports dungeon-like storage rooms in the basement. Pulaski House used to be a homeless shelter for women and children and, surprise, it is purported to be haunted by a female spirit. According to rumor, Preston/Poetter Hall’s basement once housed slaves; the building was built on the former site of the Savannah Female Orphan Asylum. No wonder the building still echoes with disembodied voices and sounds of heavy footsteps. Henry Hall, a former elementary school where a little girl fell down the stairs and broke her neck, is still haunted by the little girl who continues to tumble down the stairs, reliving her death.

By far, however, Oglethorpe House, which used to be an apartment complex, boasts the most significant ghostly activity. In the ballroom, a ghoulish groundskeeper is said to appear from time to time. Room 310 is haunted by Harry, a WWII-era sailor who moves objects and communicates via Ouija board. Heels, believed to be the spirit of a prostitute, follows people around the halls, her high heels clicking rhythmically on the tile floor.

Room 634 at Ogelthorpe, however, is known to be the most haunted of all. Two female students in particular share the most compelling story. They moved into the room and immediately began experiencing the normal- or, rather, paranormal- phenomena: an uneasy feeling of being watched, objects flying off shelves, phantom voices calling to them, moving shadows, objects going missing, invisible beings sitting on their beds while they were sleeping, and the incessant noise of marbles dropping and someone hammering on the walls.

One Halloween night, one of the girls used a Ouija board to contact Harry, the sailor ghost, who introduced them to Laura, the spirit who had been in their room. Laura told the girls she had been killed by a jilted lover named Max and buried across the street. She thought the year was 1825. Then, much to the student’s surprise, the ghost then told her numerous details about her room, the letters on her desk, and the fact that her roommate was in the room laying down (her roommate had gone to a Halloween party). The ghost also warned her of a malevolent being haunting Ogelthorpe and told her that she was trying to protect them.

Spooked, the student returned to her room where she found her roommate laying on her bed. Her roommate had been hearing voices in the room for the last hour. After that, on numerous occasions, the girls managed to record female voices in the room and had many other freaky experiences. To this day, Room 634 continues to experience the same phenomena.

Why people stay in these rooms is beyond me. I know these students tried to get transferred to another room but the administrators wouldn’t allow it and dismissed their stories as coincidence. That’s encouraging!

Halloween is getting closer, and I’m yet to get freaked out by anyone out there. I’m daring you. Post your scary stuff below…