With Halloween coming up in just a few days, chances are you’re going to dress up in something crazy, scary, or ridiculous and then go to work. It’s the one day of the year you can go a little wild around your colleagues (okay, the second day of the year if you count your office holiday party) without anyone taking you too seriously. Hopefully, others at your place of work will dress up, as well, so you don’t look like the lone candy corn in a pile of wet autumn leaves.
If you’re dressing up for Halloween at work, or even if you’re just going to an after hours party that a lot of your co-workers (and maybe even your boss) will be attending, then you might want to reel in your inner teenager just a bit. We’re not saying you can’t have fun just don’t do anything that makes you look like an irresponsible goon. So if you like where you work, and would like to stay employed there for years to come without everyone whispering “He’s the one who came to work dressed as a vasectomy last Halloween” (just use your imagination), then you might want to consider these helpful workplace costume tips.
On the Don’t Side…
- Don’t dress up as your boss
- Don’t wear something overly sexy or hard to walk in
- Don’t wear a costume that resembles your personality
- Avoid political statements
Trust me, no matter how much of a character you and everyone else in the office thinks your boss is, he or she sees themselves differently (almost always less colorful). Oh sure, you may think your boss is a good sport, but don’t put that to the test when you come in dressed as your boss as a character from La Cage Aux Folles because “everybody knows he’s gay, right?”
Unless you want to be labeled the office slut (male or female) don’t dress in an overly provocative costume. Even if you’re comfortable showing some skin, it makes everyone else in the office extremely uncomfortable (even on Halloween). Similarly, don’t don footwear that’s so hard to walk in you couldn’t get out of the building quickly even if it was on fire. This means no mile-high spiky heels or Frankenstein boots that make you 10 feet tall. If you can’t do the Michael Jackson Thriller dance in your shoes then wear some different ones.
Why? Because then it’s just too easy for the office smart-mouth to make you the butt of his jokes. If you’re known for being the office taskmaster and you come as a witch, the gags just write themselves. Show everyone up instead by coming as Glinda the Good Witch of the North (from the Wizard of Oz). Always go against type (it’s funnier, and makes for a better ice breaker at parties).
You may be a diehard liberal who hasn’t missed an episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in years, but your boss may be a Fox News conservative. So don’t put your foot in your mouth by showing up as a Christine O’Donnell Witch or a Glenn Beck troll. Similarly, avoid the Obama masks with the big ears or the Nancy Pelosi-plastic-surgery-gone-bad-masks. Halloween is a bipartisan holiday and you want to keep it that way.
On the Do Side…
- Do pick a costume that’s clever and not complicated
- Do wear loose-fitting clothing without a lot of extra props
- Do use clothing you already own to create a costume
For example, clever: sunglasses and a hardhat make you a Chilean miner. Complicated: A zombie with make-up so messy you leave a trail of fake blood and body parts everywhere makes you annoying (and not all that scary, really).
This pretty much eliminates the Lady Gaga meat suit or anything like it. Remember, you’re at work so you want to be comfortable and maintain at least a minimum amount of professionalism. (I mean, gosh, what if clients drop by?) Plus, you don’t want to have to keep track of a bunch of junk like swords, pirate hooks, broomsticks, cooking utensils, or magic wands that you’ll just end up losing anyway.
Go ahead and enhance that old bridesmaid dress (to be a fairy princess) or your tux (to be an undertaker or a scary waiter). If you use your own clothing you’re ensured of a proper fit, which means you’ll be much more comfortable. Plus, you’ll save money by not having to buy some cheap costume that you’ll probably only wear once.
And finally, if you don’t want to dress up that’s fine, too. But just so no one accuses you of being the Halloween equivalent of Scrooge, bring a bowl of candy to work and set it up outside your office. This shows you’re still in the spirit, but that you draw the line at turning yourself into the undead. Everyone will forgive you if you come loaded with a bunch of fun size Snickers as a peace offering.
Halloween is getting closer, and I’ve got even more spooky stories from college campuses in my trick or treat bag. Last time, I was just playing around with stories of bumps in the night and benign Casper-like toddler ghosts. This time around, however, I promise scarier, more malevolent ghosts.
Just researching these stories is getting me all jittery. Last night, I was walking my dog at the park. There was no moon out or streetlights on. Even the stars seemed dimmed. Of course, a spectral fog hung in the air- you’ve got to have the fog. I had rarely seen a night that dark. And I swore I could feel eyes watching me out there in the thick darkness. So I ran around the park, practically dragging my poor dog behind me, scurried into the safety of my house, and watched my kids’ entire Care Bears: Season One DVD set just so I could get to sleep. I know, I’m a big chicken.
But I also can’t help dishing it out. So here goes another serving of 5 fiendishly frightful forays into that phantom field of the unknown:
1. Bradford College: Unfinished Affairs
Now vacant, this college was recently visited by a band of ghost hunters, who discovered more haunting happenings there than they had bargained for. Prior to their visit, they were well aware of two old stories that pervaded the campus about a sordid affair between a female student and a priest that occurred at the Academy Building. When the student got pregnant, she either killed herself or was killed by the priest. A similar but more recent story came from Denworth Hall, the drama building, in which another female student had an affair with a professor and got pregnant. She threatened to tell the administration, and he killed her. Supposedly, her ghost still haunts the theatre, playing tricks on visitors or singing “Hush, Little Baby” from the upper floor.
At the Academy Building, the ghosthunters felt a great deal of negative energy, recorded the trademark cold spots, and saw the forms of two people: a young, blonde female who appeared to be fleeing something and a man in black, overcome with anger. They also recorded a host of other peculiar phenomena throughout the building.
At Denworth Hall, although not expecting to find anything interesting, they encountered the ghost of the female student, singing her favorite tune. Apparently, she started as a shadow then developed into a more visible form. Dressed in Flapper Era clothing, she descended a set of stairs carrying a doll, singing to it mournfully. As the ghosthunters exited the building through a tunnel, they could hear the student screaming out after them, “Wait! Wait! Don’t leave!”
This college also houses the ghost of a little boy, a bloody phantom old woman who has a thing for foreign exchange students, a ghost man who haunts the theatre stage, and a dark figure that hangs around the catwalk above the stage. No wonder this place has been shut down!
2. University of Notre Dame: Win One for the Gipper’s… Ghost?
It would make sense that Notre Dame’s most famous graduate ever would continue to grace the university from the grave. No, I’m not talking about Rudy- he’s still alive. I’m referring to the Gipper himself of the now immortal “Win One for the Gipper” speech. According to accounts, George Gipp, legendary ND football star of yore, has a habit of hovering over students’ shoulders and then dematerializing just as they sense him and turn around. They catch him just as he vanishes into thin air.
The Gipper especially prefers to frighten students working late at night backstage at the university’s dramatic theatre department. Which leads one to wonder: Why would a deceased football great hang around spooking a bunch of drama kids? My theory: He’s a jock. What jock can refuse terrorizing a bunch of drama nerds- even from beyond the grave? Watch out, chess club. You’re next!
Also roaming the grounds of Notre Dame are the restless spirits of the Patawatami Indians who inhabited the banks of the St. Joseph River. Of course, it turns out that Notre Dame was built on, say it with me,… INDIAN BURIAL GROUNDS!!! The ghost Indians prefer to hang around Columbus Hall, where they ride up and down the front steps on ghost horses.
3. University of Georgia: Unhappy Spectral Southern Belles
Many of the buildings at this Athens, Georgia, school are old, certainly old enough to hold a lot of secrets. The Alpha Gamma Delta house, for example, is rumored to have been the dwelling place of its founding family. Oh, and it’s also the house where their daughter, Susie Caruthers, hung herself in despair over having been stood up at the altar. It just so happens that the house resembles a three-tiered wedding cake. According to legend, passers-by catch glimpses of Susie in the attic window, the room where she killed herself.
As far as the sorority girls are concerned, some prefer to keep the story under wraps so as to protect the sorority’s reputation. Other sorority members embrace the ghost and her influence around the house. They speak fondly of doors opening and closing on their own, of the lights cutting off randomly and then coming back on, and of things moving around on their own. Just part of living with other girls, I guess. Girls who live in the “Engagement Suite,” rumored to have been Susie’s room during her engagement, claim to have incredibly good luck in love, with marriages occurring magically within a year of leaving the room. Word to the wise, ladies: Susie’s a good friend to have.
At the Phi Mu house, following incidents of phantom crying being heard from the top of the stairs, a Ouija board revealed that a girl named Anna Hamilton was haunting the building. Students also uncovered a tale of murder and secrecy in which Anna’s fiance was killed before her eyes and his body buried beneath the front steps of the house. Creepy! The students tried to investigate the alleged murder with people who knew Anna but to no avail. They remembered Anna but grew upset when asked about any murder. Hmmmm… Sounds like it’s time to call Scooby and the crew or Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Also at U of Georgia, the ghost of a Confederate office, Major Charles Morris, likes to rock in his old rocking chair at the president’s office and roam the halls of the administration building. Sounds like a fun place!
4. Montclair State University: Bad Boogeymen at Clove Road
The Clove Road Apartments on this college’s Montclair, New Jersey, campus are apparently a gateway to Hell. Not really, but there is definitely some scary stuff happening there. Starting things off on the wrong foot, this place was built on, of course,… an INDIAN BURIAL GROUND!!! I mean, that just opens the door for killer clown puppets, scary, staticky TV screens, people peeling their faces off in the bathroom sink, and the undead marching out of your swimming pool. The American Founders should have put a footnote in the Magna Carta or something about not building on Indian burial grounds. Everyone’s lives would be a lot easier. But, oh well: hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.
Anyway, back to Clove Road. This place is bad news. Tenants have reported electrical appliances turning on and off of their own accord, lights on the second floor flashing on and off by themselves, disembodied knocks on bedroom and bathroom doors, “unearthly” noises emanating from the woods behind the apartments, and, get this, shadows lurking around in the woods. Uh, I think I would have demanded my deposit back from the landlord by now and checked into the Motel 6 across town. I mean, “unearthly” sounds? Lurking shadows? Hello! Red flags all over the place! But, alas, I digress…
It gets better (or worse, I guess). Tenants reported being overcome by an “unsettling feeling or nausea” whenever they discussed the strange phenomena at their apartments. The roommates, best friends when they moved in, had inexplicably negative feelings toward each other and would often fight and squabble. Their apartments would be chilly even though the thermostat was set at 80 degrees (aka cold spots). We know what cold spots mean. Cold spots equal dead people. One female tenant told of waking one night to find a man dressed in 19th century garb standing over her bed, staring at her lovingly. Thinking it was her roommate’s boyfriend mistaking her for his girlfriend, she told him he had the wrong bed. The man suddenly disappeared into thin air.
I say, kids, it’s time to find another apartment. I don’t care if you like the cheerful peach decor. Get yourselves out of there before everyone starts growling evil incantations and spewing green slime. Seriously…
5. Drew University: Ghosts Getting Religion?
One of our stories comes from this Madison, New Jersey college’s theological school. It seems funny that a church or a seminary would have ghost stories. I mean, it’s a church. Aren’t those supposed to be free of, like, spooky stuff? Evidently not. One student reports hearing the sound of breathing in the otherwise empty chapel while he was saying his prayers. He got up and looked around the small room and found no one, nothing to explain the breathing sound. The sound grew louder and heavier. Thoroughly frightened, the student took off like a bat out of… heck.
Other accounts tell of mist-like apparitions forming on the second floor of Asbury Hall. Witnesses are certain the mists are not steam or tricks of light. But they do recall being gripped by fear in their presence. According to rumor, a seminary student hung himself from the attic rafters, and the mist is his despairing disembodied spirit still roaming the halls.
Also at Drew U, the ghost of Roxanna Mead Drew, wife of the original founder, makes spooky appearances now and again. Madison firefighters tell the story of the fire at Mead Hall, started by a painter’s torch, in which two firemen spotted a woman walking unphased through the raging flames. They moved toward her and called out to her. Suddenly, they realized she was dressed in old-fashioned attire, and, a second later, she vanished before their eyes. Apparently, Mrs. Drew just decided to show up for the burning of her namesake.
Are you scared yet? Did you have to call a friend or relative into the room to keep you company while you finished reading? You big baby. Honestly, there are some spooky things out there, especially, it seems, at college. And I’m not just talking about the sorority girls. If you’re searching for a college, avoid these places like the plague. I just hope you’re scared so I’m not the only one. But, as spooked out as I am, I’m not done yet. Get ready for more college ghost stories coming your way every week until October 31 (that’s Halloween, by the way). Until next week, let’s hear some of your ghost stories. Scare me. Come on, I dare you to…
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