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Dangerous Careers: Ninja Assassin Femme Fatale

In a past article, we listed the most dangerous careers according to the Department of Labor Statistics. The only problem is our list took into account only mainstream careers. Neglected were more fringe careers like vampire slayers, ninja assassins, and cybernetic bounty hunters. This line of thought caused us to take a closer look at these often overlooked, and considerably more dangerous, professions.

 

One career path caught our attention because of its troubling trends in fatalities: ninja assassin femme fatales. It’s tough being a female, take-charge, gun-and-sword-wielding human weapon. Often they bite the bullet, only for the male protagonist to go on, driven to avenge their death, to defeat the bad guys and take credit for the victory. Although this sub-segment enjoys a lax dress code and superior fitness levels, ninja femme fatales are plagued by excruciatingly violent deaths.

 

Despite exceedingly bloody demises, these working girls can rest assured that their faces will remain unscarred, marked only by a graceful trail of blood from the side of their mouth. Following is a list of the top three causes of death among ninja assassin femme fatales:

 

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1. Abdominal stabbing/impalement: Trinity (Matrix Revolutions), Elektra (Daredevil), Ellen Ripley (Alien 3), Lola (Transporter 2), Kyra (Chronicles of Riddick), Alice (Resident Evil: Apocalypse, sort of)

 

2. Falling: Irina Derevko (Alias), Jen (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Ellen Ripley (Alien 3), Mai Linh (Live Free or Die Hard), Milady de Winter, a.k.a. Sabine (Three Musketeers, Disney version)

 

3. Bullet wound in abdomen or back: Trinity (Matrix Reloaded), Ana Lucia (Lost), Zhora (Blade Runner)

 

So, all you folks considering a career as a lethal ninja babe, be forewarned of the job hazards: loss of eyes, loss of limbs, stabbing, shooting, electrocution, incineration, and the list goes on. The upside? Female assassins are guaranteed to go out in a blaze of glory and to look good doing it. Of course, these are just a few examples and are, therefore, by no means exhaustive. Can you think of some notable ninja assassin femme fatale deaths? Tell us about them below…

 

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 11th, 2008 at 5:47 pm and is filed under Career Advice, News & Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.